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Girls Aloud – I’ll Stand By You

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Girls Aloud – I’ll Stand By You [Polydor ‎– 9869130]

I never realised this was a fundraiser song until I have this release in front of me right now. But I’m not going to treat it as one, and if you want to hear my thoughts on fundraiser songs check out my review of Perfect Day ’97. I do remember this song, I even knew what I was going to hear before play testing it. This is pure pop, before pop got all messed up by the EDM genre like it is now. This is so inoffensive and twee, you can play it anywhere and it just works – funerals, weddings, birthday parties. Your mum loves it, your nan loves it, your little sister loves it – everyone is OK with it.

Strange how a song like this no longer gets any air time, yet I still know the melody and lyrics – definitely some conspiracy theory kind of stuff!

Title track and tin-foil hat accusations aside, the remix on this is complete GARBAGE. Fuck me, what was Tony Lamezma thinking. Oh wait, I’ve just checked our talentless friend Tony Lamezma isn’t a real human! Just generic crap remixes made in about 5 minutes to provide filler on these singles. For a remix it doesn’t go anywhere, or do anything – it sounds like something a 10 year old made in e-Jay with all the presets.

Lastly in the audio arena we get a medley, a mini-mix, of tracks from the girls sophomore record, Girls Aloud – What Will The Neighbours Say?. It’s ok, I honestly have less of an opinion on this track than the title. It’s just like an advert for your ears, but it doesn’t make me want to buy the album – then again I don’t think I’m the target audience.

The design of the sleeve is pretty naff, and feels rather dated and tacky in hindsight but then again the design choices for all releases from this album were (the headshots of the girls look, frightening – something to do with the makeup, the more I look at them the more I fear). You get a ASOS promotional card, a pretty big name now in the UK – I’m surprised that they started as far back as this.

You also get some enhanced bonus goodies! This is 2004 of course, so you best get a low-res copy of the music video with every single! You get a flash player game (it works even on my futuristic Windows 10 machine, thank god for flash?) which is a complete waste of time. You choose one of the band members, and then move them around a screen while some audio clips play and then you fall down a hole and thats it? It also includes two Quicktime movie files, one is silent with no audio, so you get to look at the pretty girls without the annoying music (jokes aside I think this is the proposed “karaoke” version), and the other one is the music video. The music video is fine, I remember watching this a lot as a young boy – odd how these things stick with you, but it has a jerky motion to it because it has been encoded at BLOODY 12 FRAMES A SECOND.

Just buy the greatest hits if you’ve got a strange Girls Aloud itch you need to scratch.

Mario – Here I Go Again

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Mario – Here I Go Again [J Records ‎– 82876705592]

Considering at one point in my life it felt like you couldn’t escape the hit Mario – Let Me Love You, Here I Go Again missed the mark and maybe signalled how fleeting Mario’s success in the UK charts would end up being. I like a lot of the glam hip-hop and r&b (sometimes dubbed “urban”) music from the mid 2000s, but most probably in the same capacity that I love pop-punk and emo music from the same period. It reminds me of being a kid, so I usually only feel strongly towards tracks I recall from then and sadly Here I Go Again is not a song I even faintly recall. If anything I’d say this is the first time I am hearing it.

The track features some clean production from Ron “NEFF-U” Feemstar, not a name that I am familiar with sadly, but he did produce Wish U Were Here (Jamie Foxx) which I love. Aside from that however there isn’t much more to say, it doesn’t feature the catchy lyrics and melody of the previous hit and just fades into the background of other R&B tracks being produced at the time.

The second track, the B-side pretty much, is as you’d expect a remix. It’s not terrible, it does work as a remix, but is just as forgettable as the title track and brings little new to the table.

Various – Perfect Day

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Various – Perfect Day [Chrysalis ‎– NEEDDJ01]

Although even today the BBC still put out these “fundraiser” songs every year for either Children In Need or Red Nose Day, these novelty tracks have a strange nostalgia linked to them. I always recall them being on the TV and radio, pushed usually by the BBC themselves on their radio and tv stations. Most of these tracks are ultimately forgettable covers of a much more popular and successful song, sung by various performers line-by-line (reminds me of school, where you’d read a book chapter by chapter out loud), trying desperately to pick up on the success of the most successful fundraiser act, Band Aid.

This release is no different. Perfect Day (originally sung by the late Lou Reed) is a firm favourite of mine, it works well with my melancholy moods. There is nothing inherently wrong, or bad with this recording its just so bland if it wasn’t made the world most probably wouldn’t care – no one talks about this track, even if the topic is focused on fundraising songs. Seeing as you don’t get much else with this release (most likely a licensing issue, as all proceeds do go to the charity, which is a good thing) but this one track, not an instrumental nor the original version. The whole point of buying this record was to give your £2/3 to the charity, to which most people have likely sent their copies to the recycling bin or charity shops across the nation. It comes down to this thing, people are more likely to part with their money if they get something in return – no matter how naff it might be. I guess thats why you see Marie Curie and Cancer Research fundraisers giving out stickers and keyrings to people, to make it feel like you’ve earnt that item. It seems maddening, surely you’d feel better giving the charity your money expecting nothing in return. Hey ho, this record exists sadly and that’s that, maybe in the year 2050 we’ll be down to the last 10 copies of the CD on the face of the planet and then they might be worth something – unlikely unless polymer plastic ends up being worth more than precious metal!

Rachel Stevens – So Good

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Rachel Stevens – So Good [Polydor ‎– 9872236]

This review has been republished on CritiqueBrainz

You can’t deny it, S Club 7 were a force to be reckoned with in regards to pop acts from the turn of the millennium. Every single person born in the early 90s in the UK knows the band and their most popular hits and most of them will tell you why – birthday parties. Their catchy, simple, upbeat songs were popular choices to play on the boombox to let a room full of 7 year olds run around like mad. But maybe they had some foresight in them too, to see that bands like themselves were soon for the chopping board and were about to be denounced of their Top 40 throne in favour of more glamourous R&B, hip-hop and electronic acts.

From their disbandment, many members went on to try and start solo careers – one of the most notable ones, or ones that I could think of without using Google to aid me, is Rachel Stevens. Maybe her success sticks out for two reasons; firstly she was my first memorable celebrity crush, secondly her more popular solo track “I Said Never Again (But Here We Are)” features on a NOW compilation which I used to listen to while playing Forza Motorsport as a kid.

Like my previous review this is another track that I do not recall at all, instead I recall the previous more successful hit. Once again, there is nothing wrong with this track – its that electro-pop blend that was ever so popular at the time, trying to bridge the gap between pop and electronic club music. The thing is these tracks never have any major faults, the performer usually has enough money following the disbandment of their more popular act to afford high quality musicians and songwriters to make them cookie-cutter pop songs. The issue is that they are usually not alone, and have to compete with other cookie-cutter productions, and because of this many tracks like this which could have been rather successful hits end up missing the mark, and hitting Woolworth’s bargain bin within a fortnight of being released.

The second track, the defacto-remix of the title track, does not stray far from the original hit and simply ups the tempo and throws in a few extra effects. Throwaway track that adds little to no value to the release. The same goes for the third track, an unreleased track that was cut from the album “Come And Get It”.

Sadly for Rachel she went the same way so many popular names in British pop music go – into television. She has appeared on a dancing show, a few singing shows and to top it all off her song was used in an advert to sell sofas. She and the other original band members (to which none of them saw much success outside of S Club) are planning a reunion tour to replenish their bank accounts and tug at the nostalgic heart strings of the British public.

CAKE – Fashion Nugget

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This review has since been republished on CritiqueBrainz.

I like this album, why – well let me try and summarize why. This isn’t my entry point to CAKE, instead that was 2001’s Comfort Eagle – which features maybe their most recognised work “Short Skirt/Long Jacket”. How I came to this album was from hearing the track “Friend is a Four Letter Word” from the MTV animated show Daria. I was born in 94, so I never managed to enjoy the counterculture that blossomed during the decade – however like many who are my age we all have this strange connection to the music, art, tv and film that was being released at the time we were tiny organisms inside our mothers wombs or playing with blocks at pre-school. Maybe there was something in the water?

I watched Daria at the emotionally turbulent time of being 18 years old, and found common ground with the lead characters sarcastic and almost morose outlook on the world and adult life. So much so that when “Friend is a Four Letter Word” finished the episode “Dye! Dye! My Darling”* I was left scrambling to find out what this track was, it just struck something with me and I listened to this track on-repeat for weeks.

Recently I have been making effort to pick out albums where I know only one/two tracks and then see if they would fit into my collection. About two weeks ago I listened to Fashion Nugget in full for the first time, and I liked it – but not as much as Comfort Eagle. Looking online there are quite a few people giving their opinions on this album, I guess CAKE are one of those bands who are just popular enough that people “know” them but they aren’t known by everyone. The album has some hidden greats, which have that fantastic pop-jazz-rock fusion sound with McCrea’s almost strained, pained vocals and then there are some tracks that are just too obtuse to enjoy.

Great tracks include the opening track “Frank Sinatra” to which the lyrics are nearly nonsensical but speaks with a tone of bleakness that feels all too familiar for many people transitioning from child to adult. Followed by “The Distance” which paces confidentially along for its three minute run-time explaining that feeling of empowerment many young men experience when courting a stranger. This song oozes so much confidence it almost feels arrogant, but never fully tips over. Coming together to form a trinity of good tracks, in position 3 is my favourite track “Friend is a Four Letter Word” a love song that is so pure in emotion it might just be one of my favourite love songs ever made. Everyone’s experienced the emotions that are being played out in this song, the feeling of realising how you truly feel about someone who only considers you as a friend. What I find great about this track is it never mentions what the four letter word is – is it love? Or it could even be hate? Moving past this high point we come to “Open Book”, the first track on the album which just didn’t flow well for me. The chorus is great, but with the double-tracked lines and one too many words, it stumbles, falls flat and just feels awkward. “Daria” is set at position 5 (I wonder if they used so many tracks from this album in the original broadcast of Daria because of this track?) which picks up the slack a little from track 4. It features that unique CAKE lyricism of what sounds like the cliqué poetry so many of us tried our hands at while being teenagers – something I personally enjoy.

“Race Car Ya-Yas” is one of the tracks I mentioned earlier in this review – something that is just a little bit too obscure for me to find any enjoyment in at all. I normally love songs that speak out about trying to break the mould but this track goes nowhere and simply repeats the same nonsense over and over – luckily it’s short. Covers are a dice roll for me, and it usually depends on how treasured the original is to me. Now I am no Gloria Gaynor fan, but I am very familiar of the original “I Will Survive”. I like this cover, I understand that this is some people’s favourite track on the album – but for me I simply find it achieving a passing grade. I enjoy the angst and misery found in what is often considered an empowering song, giving it the song just that added bit of attitude. One of my passions and hobbies aside from writing these long reviews are cars – and all aspects of car culture, so with this I can appreciate a good car song. Is “Stickshifts and Safetybelts” one of these tracks, er not really. Like it has a fun country feel, and I enjoy some of the comparisons drawn (the track simply explains how even though McCrea is not the fittest, sportiest guy he is very affectionate and has that wholesome feel of a classic car which is missing in modern sports cars). I can’t place what I don’t like about this track, but again it’s a passing grade. “Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps” is a great track about having to deal with someone indecisive, and the frustrations it can cause when trying to gauge if a relationship is on the cards.

After passing the halfway mark on the album we reach another favourite song from the album, “It’s Coming Down”. I don’t know why I like this, it has almost (maybe worse?) lyrical content to “Race Car Ya-Yas” but I just love how it is a perfect soundtrack for those situations when you have upset the one you love, usually unknowingly. “Nugget” is the title track (?), but I just don’t jam with this song at all. Again, I am usually all for these “anthems” against the establishment but this just feels forced and maybe a bit too predictable – and the “shut the fuck up” in the chorus just doesn’t feel right for CAKE. Following this demonstration of immaturity, we get another lacking track “She’ll Come Back to Me”. Maybe it’s because of the person I am, and I simply don’t believe in waiting for something that may never be, but this track just edges over into almost pathetic territory in the world of “sad love songs”.

With two tracks left to cover, the album ends on two high notes for me. “Italian Leather Sofa” is another audience favourite, filled with great metaphors about McCrea’s frustrations with some attractive girl who apparently doesn’t care about McCrea’s personal attributes, instead preferring people with watches and italian leather sofa’s. The album ends on a somber note with “Sad Songs and Waltzes”, which to me is a great parody of those classic country songs from the 60s and 70s. Self-aware that the target audience of this album aren’t going to buy any country albums with sad songs and waltzes on it, CAKE have hidden this track at the end of an alternative rock album which some could argue reached its golden age in the 90s. Also I love how snarky this track is, that McCrea knows that no-one will play this song on the radio at the time of release, so all of the girls he sings about in his songs shouldn’t worry because he will never be a big star.

All in all, I enjoy this album for what it is. It will most probably stay with me in my collection forever, most notably as a landmark of my development as a person. I hope to share this with my own children at some point, and if my son has to deal with the same emotional obstacles that I have he may find resolve in these 14 tracks.

*Note, I somehow ended up watching a copy of this episode without the dreaded replaced music – thank god for that!

Quietdrive – When All That’s Left Is You

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Quietdrive ‎– When All That’s Left Is You [Epic ‎– 82796939692]

Hoh oh, this album. This album evokes feelings, memories and thoughts of being a troubled teenage boy. This is one of those perfect Emo Pop albums for me, its just so… corny. Like when I heard this at the tender age of 13 I felt this album spoke my emotions and feelings louder than I ever could, thinking I was one of a kind feeling these “feels”.

Quietdrive‘s first album is very much in the same vein as releases from other teenage emo-pop favourites such as The All-American Rejects or Yellowcard. Up beat, sugary sweet power pop anthems sung by pretty boys wearing their heart on their sleeves is how I sum this album up. This album has no teeth, no edge, thus appealing to everyone with how middle of the road it is. All the songs are about, loving, or not understanding love, or these new “feelings” and those bittersweet teenage relationships. However Quietdrive’s offerings ended up blending in with the surge of other albums/acts with a similar sound coming out at the same time.

I only keep this album around because of it being a pure soundtrack for about 6 months of my life, before moving onto music with at least some kind of substance.

A pure nostalgic trip, offering little else.

Geri Halliwell – Look At Me

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Geri Halliwell – Look At Me [EMI ‎– CDEMS 542 / 7243 8 87121 0 1 / 8871210]

I like Geri Halliwell. I can’t sit here being in my early 20s, growing up through the late nineties and say I don’t know who she is or how she is popular. I like her more after recently watching a documentuary about her music career on the BBC, which revealed to me that deep down she is a sweet woman who simply just wants to entertain others with her singing and dancing. She was the first to split from the world-beating iconic girl group Spice Girls, which at the time came as a surprise and people wondered how well she would survive in the pop world alone. Well to begin with she did well, and then fizzled out by the middle of the following decade – a fate that seemed to affect a lot of defectors from 90s boy and girl bands.

Anyway, she managed to put out this track which is a very good pop track. It has that 90s cheesy feel, but with a little more sophistication. There is a lot of energy present on this track too, with Geri really going for it with the vocals. It does feel dated however, and rarely gets any air time these days. But I always enjoy it when I hear it.

The release also includes two remixes. The first is a standard issue house remix by Mark Picchiotti – it is ok, but again falls victim as with many of these bundled remixes as being very generic and uncreative. The second remix by Terminalhead brings a slightly different tactic, giving the title track a The Prodigyfeel with an upbeat techno mix – does this work with the original track, er not really.

All in all, a good pop track.

BodyRockers – I Like The Way

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Bodyrockers – I Like The Way [Mercury ‎– 9871115]

I like Electropop music greatly, so it would make sense that I would enjoy this record. Which I do, yes it doesn’t really break a lot of ground and draws similarities to other Electro music being released at this time. The title track is a great dance track with a great upbeat feel and extremely simple vocals. Although I have to admit the vocals on this track sound like something that would come from the creative minds of Flight Of The Conchords. The release also includes 4 remixes from big names in the industry of the time, all of which are relatively forgetful and uninspiring and do not add much to the original track or end up redacting some of its energy. A decent pick up if you enjoy the title track.